It took me 40 years to learn to say no. It's a long journey for lots of us, it makes lots of people who used to assume we'd always say "yes" uncomfortable, but it's 💯 worth it
It’s so true—learning to say no is a journey, not an overnight change. And you’re right, it does make some people uncomfortable, especially those who benefited from us always saying yes. But the freedom, peace, and self-respect that come with setting boundaries? Completely worth it. It’s never too late to start choosing yourself.
I find it hard to say NO because I am a people pleaser. My childhood experiences and traumas have shaped my life. I’m on a healing journey, and everything you shared here resonates with my life.
This is such a powerful reminder that saying no isn’t rejection Sara. It’s redirection toward what truly matters. The way you frame it as self-respect rather than selfishness is a game-changer. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of overcommitting, but the clarity and peace that come from setting boundaries are priceless.
How did people in your life react when you first started saying no? Did any reactions surprise you?
Thank you, Karen! That shift—from seeing ‘no’ as rejection to seeing it as redirection—was truly life-changing for me.
And yes, some reactions definitely surprised me! The people who respected my boundaries stayed, and the ones who only valued my availability drifted away. And honestly? That was a blessing.
Yes, exactly! For so many of us, saying no feels uncomfortable at first because we’ve been conditioned to put others first. But as you said, we can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish—it’s how we show up as our best selves for others too.
Great article Sara! I know this pattern and how it is like a spiderweb. Generational pattern. Still learning to set and express those boundaries healthily- as well as internally :)
I love that analogy—a spiderweb is such a powerful way to describe how deeply ingrained these patterns can be. Breaking free from generational habits takes time, but awareness is the first step. You’re already doing the work, and that’s incredible! Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Great read Sara! I started to see saying no not as a rejection, but as a powerful yes - a yes to my values, my boundaries, and the things that truly align with me. It’s a game-changer when you realise that every no creates space for something better 💫
I love that perspective! Saying no isn’t about shutting doors—it’s about opening the right ones. When we protect our energy and align with what truly matters, we create space for opportunities that actually serve us. So glad this resonated with you!
I love that, Mara. There’s so much power in realizing that ‘no’ is a form of self-care and healing. Honoring your boundaries is such a beautiful way to reclaim your peace. Thank you for sharing this!
It took me 40 years to learn to say no. It's a long journey for lots of us, it makes lots of people who used to assume we'd always say "yes" uncomfortable, but it's 💯 worth it
It’s so true—learning to say no is a journey, not an overnight change. And you’re right, it does make some people uncomfortable, especially those who benefited from us always saying yes. But the freedom, peace, and self-respect that come with setting boundaries? Completely worth it. It’s never too late to start choosing yourself.
I find it hard to say NO because I am a people pleaser. My childhood experiences and traumas have shaped my life. I’m on a healing journey, and everything you shared here resonates with my life.
Thank you for sharing this Sara!🌹
So true Sara. It is such a difficult pattern to break. Your suggested language is great. I am committed to use it… as soon as I can!
I know this all too well Sara! NO is a complete sentence. Took me a long time, but so glad I got it!
Yes! ‘No’ is a full sentence, and embracing that truth is so freeing. Glad you got there—it’s a game-changer!
Great advice, Sara. It took me nearly a lifetime to say no, and I'm glad I started!
So glad you did, Sheri! It’s never too late to start setting boundaries and prioritizing yourself. Proud of you!
This is such a powerful reminder that saying no isn’t rejection Sara. It’s redirection toward what truly matters. The way you frame it as self-respect rather than selfishness is a game-changer. It’s so easy to fall into the trap of overcommitting, but the clarity and peace that come from setting boundaries are priceless.
How did people in your life react when you first started saying no? Did any reactions surprise you?
Thank you, Karen! That shift—from seeing ‘no’ as rejection to seeing it as redirection—was truly life-changing for me.
And yes, some reactions definitely surprised me! The people who respected my boundaries stayed, and the ones who only valued my availability drifted away. And honestly? That was a blessing.
For most of us "people pleasers", saying no to others for thinking about ourselves first feels rude and selfish.
And we don't want to be part of "those people".
But like you're saying, prioritizing ourselves over others is more an act of self-respect than selfishness.
After all, we can't be helpful to others if we're empty.
Yes, exactly! For so many of us, saying no feels uncomfortable at first because we’ve been conditioned to put others first. But as you said, we can’t pour from an empty cup. Prioritizing ourselves isn’t selfish—it’s how we show up as our best selves for others too.
Yeah, well said. It’s how we show up as our best selves ‘cause we want to be as useful to others. But we need to do that for ourselves first.
As a recovering people pleaser and enabler, I appreciate this post.
I love that, Charisse! Learning to put yourself first is so powerful. Glad this resonated with you!
Great article Sara! I know this pattern and how it is like a spiderweb. Generational pattern. Still learning to set and express those boundaries healthily- as well as internally :)
I love that analogy—a spiderweb is such a powerful way to describe how deeply ingrained these patterns can be. Breaking free from generational habits takes time, but awareness is the first step. You’re already doing the work, and that’s incredible! Thank you for sharing your perspective.
Great read Sara! I started to see saying no not as a rejection, but as a powerful yes - a yes to my values, my boundaries, and the things that truly align with me. It’s a game-changer when you realise that every no creates space for something better 💫
I love that perspective! Saying no isn’t about shutting doors—it’s about opening the right ones. When we protect our energy and align with what truly matters, we create space for opportunities that actually serve us. So glad this resonated with you!
Thank you for this. I feel so strongly that my healing is grounded in “no”.
I love that, Mara. There’s so much power in realizing that ‘no’ is a form of self-care and healing. Honoring your boundaries is such a beautiful way to reclaim your peace. Thank you for sharing this!