Sara, this is beautiful. I recently learned that my own childhood caretaking and fixing things for everyone has impacted 5 decades of life, . . . and I'm so proud of you for finding out earlier AND choosing not to pass that down!!
Thank you for sharing your journey, Sara. I’ve worked with small children in the past, but nothing prepared me for the inner work I have to keep doing to really show up as the parent I want to be. ❤️
Rebecca, thank you for this. I feel that so deeply—nothing truly prepares you for the inner work parenting calls out of you. We’re doing it, one conscious choice at a time. ❤️
I note your comment: “When I mess up, I say, “I’m sorry,” not “because I’m your mother.””
Your note reminds me of when my son was ten. We were sitting by each other’s side in a quiet moment and I asked, “So, how am I doing?”
He was stunned. “What do you mean? You’re my dad.”
“Precisely! I want to hear how I’m doing!”
It didn’t take long for him to start sharing his observations both critically and complementary, questioning and confessing. I was able to begin filling him in on little bits of context or admitting my errors.
I simply wanted a relationship I never had. Sounds Iike you’re heading in the same direction.
Jak—this is beautiful. That line, “I simply wanted a relationship I never had,” really hit me. That’s exactly what I’m working toward too. Thank you for sharing this—it gave me so much hope.
Lovely to hear and am very happy you shared your thoughts with me. You might enjoy my most recent post, “This is not Glastonbury”. I reflect, just a bit, on youth.
This is rich with authentic self -reflection. I applaud the willingness to be present and actually choose what / how you prefer to respond consciously .
I too am oldest child and learned that what I patterned from parents was an option but would not be a choice in my parenting life. Thank you so much !
Sara, this is beautiful. I recently learned that my own childhood caretaking and fixing things for everyone has impacted 5 decades of life, . . . and I'm so proud of you for finding out earlier AND choosing not to pass that down!!
Sean, thank you so much for this. It means a lot. It’s never too late to notice the patterns—and I really admire your honesty and self-awareness.
Thank you for sharing your journey, Sara. I’ve worked with small children in the past, but nothing prepared me for the inner work I have to keep doing to really show up as the parent I want to be. ❤️
Rebecca, thank you for this. I feel that so deeply—nothing truly prepares you for the inner work parenting calls out of you. We’re doing it, one conscious choice at a time. ❤️
This is beautiful. Your child is lucky.
Means a lot. Thank you Patty!
I note your comment: “When I mess up, I say, “I’m sorry,” not “because I’m your mother.””
Your note reminds me of when my son was ten. We were sitting by each other’s side in a quiet moment and I asked, “So, how am I doing?”
He was stunned. “What do you mean? You’re my dad.”
“Precisely! I want to hear how I’m doing!”
It didn’t take long for him to start sharing his observations both critically and complementary, questioning and confessing. I was able to begin filling him in on little bits of context or admitting my errors.
I simply wanted a relationship I never had. Sounds Iike you’re heading in the same direction.
Jak—this is beautiful. That line, “I simply wanted a relationship I never had,” really hit me. That’s exactly what I’m working toward too. Thank you for sharing this—it gave me so much hope.
Lovely to hear and am very happy you shared your thoughts with me. You might enjoy my most recent post, “This is not Glastonbury”. I reflect, just a bit, on youth.
Thanks for sharing! I’ll check your post out!
This is rich with authentic self -reflection. I applaud the willingness to be present and actually choose what / how you prefer to respond consciously .
I too am oldest child and learned that what I patterned from parents was an option but would not be a choice in my parenting life. Thank you so much !
Tara, thank you so much for this. It’s comforting to know I’m not alone in unlearning and choosing differently.
The fact that we get to respond consciously now—it’s powerful.
Sending love from one eldest child to another 💛
Sara your story of childhood, elder daughter and now a mother hits close home for me.
Having learned peace, carrying so much chaos, and perfecting myself to cringe now is what makes me want to pause and remember who I’ve been all along.
You are brave, sharing your story so honestly and vulnerably is brave.
Thank you for sharing this and choosing to not pass on what you did not choose. 💛
Janki, Wow—thank you for this. I felt every word. That shift from carrying chaos to choosing peace… it’s so real.
I’m honored this spoke to you. We’re rewriting so much, one choice at a time.
Sending love, fellow first daughter 💛