Unlearning the Hustle: What If You Didn’t Have to Earn Your Worth?

Choosing rest, softness, and self-worth in a world that demands more

May 20, 2025

selective focus photography of pile of decorative stones — Photo by Jeppe H. Jensen on Unsplash

For the longest time, I wore my productivity like a badge of honor. If I wasn’t doing something—building, fixing, solving—I felt off. Useless, even. As if my value disappeared the moment I stopped producing.

I remember once, right after giving birth, someone asked me, “So, what are you working on now?” And I laughed—not because it was funny, but because even in a season that demanded rest, I felt the pressure to prove I was still useful. That I hadn’t lost my edge. That I hadn’t become... just a mom.

But here’s the truth I’ve had to sit with: My worth is not tied to how much I get done.
And neither is yours.

This wasn’t an easy lesson to learn. For someone who once ran on checklists and deadlines, learning to slow down felt like failure. Until I started asking better questions:

Who am I without the noise?
What do I bring into a room when I’m not doing but simply being?
Can I still love myself on the days I accomplish “nothing”?

These weren’t just reflections—they became my lifeline.

I started practicing small shifts.
Taking naps without guilt.
Celebrating presence over performance.
Letting rest count.

I’m still unlearning, by the way. Still catching myself tying my value to my output. But I now know that being isn’t a lesser form of living. It’s a fuller one. A richer, slower, more grounded version of myself—one that doesn’t need to earn love or worth through exhaustion.

“Worthiness doesn’t have prerequisites.”
— Brené Brown

Journaling Prompt:
What makes me feel valuable when I’m not being productive?
Reflect on three qualities or moments that remind you that your worth is inherent—not earned.

Let’s make that the new measure.

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