The Quiet Side of Motherhood

Why loneliness is more common than we think—and how to reconnect with yourself and others.

Photo by Liv Bruce on Unsplash

I didn’t expect the silence to be so loud.

A few weeks after giving birth, I sat in the living room, holding my baby close, and the house was still. Not peaceful-still. Empty-still. The kind of stillness that makes you aware of every thought in your head. I’d scrolled through every app, stared at the walls, and realized—I hadn’t heard from anyone all day.

My parents couldn’t be here yet. My in-laws were stuck too. And while my husband tried his best… I still felt like I was drowning in invisible weight. I had just created life… and yet I felt like I was disappearing.

This is the side of motherhood we don’t always share.

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You Can Love Your Baby and Still Feel Lonely

That part shook me. How can something so full of joy also feel so isolating?

I had waited for this season. Prayed for it. And yet there I was—physically surrounded by bottles, diapers, pacifiers, and soft baby coos—feeling more alone than I ever had before.

And the truth is?
I wasn’t broken.
I wasn’t weak.
I was just human.

Because loneliness in motherhood isn’t a failure.
It’s a transition. A reckoning. A reintroduction to a version of yourself you’ve never met before.

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Why So Many Mothers Feel This Way

Loneliness doesn’t always look like isolation. Sometimes it looks like performing strength when you’re barely keeping it together. Smiling at visitors when you haven’t slept in days. Nodding politely to advice when all you really want is for someone to hold you for a change.

We don’t talk about how disconnected we feel—because we’re afraid it makes us sound ungrateful. Or dramatic. Or worse, like we don’t love our babies.

But loving your baby and missing your old self aren’t opposites. They can live in the same heart.

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The Things That Helped Me Feel Like Me Again

No, it wasn’t a big transformation. There was no magical routine or viral product that fixed it.

But over time, I began to notice the small things that helped me come back home to myself:

I got honest.
I started naming my feelings. Not out loud at first, just in my Notes app. Raw, messy, real thoughts. No filters. No edits.

I reached out.
One message to a fellow mom. One chat where I said, “Hey, I’m struggling today.” That cracked open the door for more support to walk in.

I protected 15 minutes.
Some days it was a quick walk. Other days, just sitting in silence while my baby napped. Those pockets of presence reminded me I still existed beyond the label of “mom.”

I stopped waiting for permission.
To ask for help. To rest. To feel something other than joy. I reminded myself—my needs matter too.

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This Mother’s Day, Let’s Be Real

If you’re feeling the ache of loneliness, I want to say this to you clearly:

You are not alone in feeling alone.
You are not failing.
You are not too much—or not enough.

You are a woman in transition. You are learning to mother your child while remembering to mother yourself.

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A Gentle Challenge (And a Bold Reminder)

This Mother’s Day, let’s start something simple but powerful:

Text one mom today.
Tell her she’s doing great. Tell her she’s seen. Tell her she matters.

And if that mom is you?
Say it out loud in the mirror. Whisper it while feeding your baby. Write it on a sticky note and put it by your bed.

We weren’t meant to do this alone.
Let’s stop pretending we’re okay when we’re not. Let’s stop mothering in silence.

Let’s choose community.
Let’s choose honesty.
Let’s choose each other.

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